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Sweet Remission! God is so good!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Certificate!! WooHoo!!

Monday marked the completion of the nasty chemo!  Leslie was presented with an actual Certificate of Completion from the "Chemo Girls."  Way to go, Leslie!  We're soooo proud of you!

Today Leslie & Jim traveled back to Tyler for the "shot in the abdomen" designed to help fizzle out her ovaries and eliminate the hormone that this type cancer likes to feed off......... Les says this shot is really really painful and causes her bones to ache for several days afterwards.  Hoping to end these soon.........

Les will have to continue with the herceptin every three weeks, but it isn't chemo, rather something designed to help strengthen and protect her bones. 

Next step..........probably towards the end of this month, the three physicians/surgeons will coordinate their schedules to perform the combined surgeries.  One will perform the mastectomy, another will remove the reproductive system (this will eliminate the shots in the abdomen) and the third will perform the procedure necessary to prepare for some reconstructive surgery a few months down the road.  These surgeries will be really hard on Les, but she is anxious to more forward and she actually asked the doctors if they could coordinate all at same time...............she is a tough young lady, but please continue sending prayers for her and her family.  Little Avery is only one year old and Les will not be able to lift her for six weeks.  Just think of all the times a mother lifts her baby..........

Much love to our blog followers!  You have helped us so much more than you know!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Leslie's two patriotic girls!

September 11th and July 5th..........Les calls Riley and Avery her "patriotic babies."  Both girls celebrate birthdays with the red, white and blue!


July 5th weekend marked the one year anniversary of Avery's birth!  What fun!  First, a neighborhood parade on the decorated Kuboda..........a little tradition started years ago at Lake Cypress Springs.......what a fun 5 minute parade! 


All the neighbors sat along the roadway in lawn chairs to cheer and wave at the decorated floats.....everything from boats to trailers to lawn mowers to bikes!  Of course, we had the best!!

Later, Avery "tested" her birthday cake.............
...........and the girls posed for a picture.......(Josh said, "Les, you're really rockin' those bandanas!)

.................



and so did Riley & Budders.  They were "wide open" all day long!!

...............

...and even with a big lake at our disposal.....who doesn't love a good kiddie pool?!!




Later in the afternoon....John Morgan had a great idea (hey, don't let this photo fool ya.....John was tuckered out from swimming, eating AND cooking..........John is an awesome cook!!)





And of course, if there's a lake, then Larry LeBeau will be fishing......


What a wonderful day!  Family, friends, fun and fabulous food!





Then, back to reality............Monday, July 11th...........as Carol Harder says.."Dang Mondays"..........Leslie is such a trouper........Monday she endured yet another of the hard chemo sessions at The Cancer Center in Tyler.  During her visit a new patient came in to get started with his treatments.........only to experience an allergic reaction!  Les said it was very "scary" watching all that happened.......made her very thankful for her own non-allergic treatments. 

Strange that we can be "thankful" for NO allergic reactions.......amazing how when going through the middle of this aweful cancer...how we just naturally become more thankful for the small stuff.  How we really open our eyes to see what is around us.  As the rest of the world keeps turning and all the folks move through their "normal" lives.......our new normal is so very different.  In spite of it all, in many ways it's like we have a special seat to view our worlds.........it's like we now have the inside track and we see what so many around us cannot or will not or perhaps they're just too busy to see it........but, we now seem to love deeper, to appreciate more, to judge less, to criticize less, to forgive more and most of all we learn to trust!

God does use the bad for the good and we are seeing Him working on a daily basis........sometimes an hourly basis.  Yes, He is good.......all the time.

To summarize.........Only one more hard treatment to go and then on to surgery and radiation.  Leslie still has some hurdles to jump, but each day brings us one step closer.  Riley is especially anxious to see her Mom's new hair......she is told that hair that returns following chemo is even prettier than before.........could be a different color..........could be curly...........it'll be like waiting to open a gift!! 
(psssst....I think Riley is hoping for blonde!!)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The "Nasty" Chemo Begins.......

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma – that’s the name of this ugly cancer…….IDC

I’ve learned that IDC is the most common type of breast cancer.  It is also known as Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma and starts in the breast’s milk ducts and invades surrounding breast tissue.  If not treated at an early stage, it can move into other parts of the body through the bloodstream or lymphatic system.

The strange thing is that women over the age of 45 have a greater risk of IDC and about 50 percent of IDC cases occur after age 65……about 20 percent of women with breast cancer have a family history of the disease.  Other factors increasing the risk include having no children or the first child after age 30…..

Riley was born when Leslie was 26 and the only breast cancer was Leslie’s great-grandmother when she was in her 80s…….Leslie seems to be an exception to these statistics.  Of course, she laughs and says….”Mom, I always TOLD you I was exceptional!”

Most women diagnosed with IDC will be offered chemotherapy and/or hormonal therapy.  Chemo……….oh my……nothing easy about chemo for Leslie!  And to make it even harder, you should have to be the family members watching her go through all this……..all of us feeling so helpless.

I apologize for running so far behind with blogging………somewhere along the way my laptop was “lifted” from my car.  I am not certain where or when and that makes it even more concerning, but it vanished. 

So, finally I’m providing the update…..on a borrowed computer.....

12 Weekly Treatments of the First “Chemo Recipe” Complete! 

The best part of completing this round……Leslie’s face has cleared up and is no longer puffy or swollen…...Les is soooo thankful for that…..although she always looks beautiful, she was very self-conscious of her teenager-like skin condition.  Soooo goodby to “taxol”……thank goodness!  The taxol also caused the hair loss, but hey, it’ll grow back! 

The twelve weekly treatments consisted of a drive to the Cancer Center about 8:30 a.m………inserting the IV line into the “port” in the upper right section of Leslie’s chest….near the breast bone……in goes a bag of anti-nausea medicine, followed by a bag of benedryl to help ward off any allergies, followed by yet another bag containing herceptin (some type of blocker) and finally concluding with the taxol.

This weekly procedures would take almost four hours every Monday morning.  Monday afternoon Les had no choice, but to sleep and rest……….then Tuesday and Wednesday she could only rest and let the “chemicals” do whatever they were designed to do…….by Thursday she would be stronger and able to be up and move around.

Now, picture this young lady as a young mother of two…………Riley, age 7 and Avery, age 11 months.  Think about what is needed to care for these little girls……..meals, homework, baths…….and the special mother/daughter times.  Leslie has mentioned several times that she feels this cancer has taken so much from her and from her family.  She is saddened that she lacks the strength to do all that she wants to for her family.

And then there is Leslie’s husband, Jim.  Jim is amazing……..works fulltime, cooks, maintains a beautiful, spacious lawn……plants and waters flowers………shops, cleans……makes sure the dog is fed and exercised…….spends time with the girls………provides love and emotional support for his wife…..he does so much and never complains.  Plus, Avery has decided that Daddy hung the moon!  Go figure!  When her Daddy walks in the room, he has her full attention and she kicks her crawling into high gear to greet him!

With the twelve weekly taxol treatments finished, Les began what the nurses call the “nasty chemo”……..can you imagine anything nastier that what I’ve just described?    Try these letters…..F – E – C …………nurses call it feck! 

Three chemo drugs……(1) 5-Fluorourocil, (2) Epirubicin, (3) Cytoxan…
FEC........following the FEC, an injection of something is required within 24 hours……so Tuesday morning they drive back to The Cancer Center for yet another injection.

The day after Memorial Day began the FEC.  Even though the taxol should be out of her system and hence the puffiness in her face and the redness and acne-like blemishes have subsided, now with the nasty FEC comes queasiness, heavy limbs, extreme exhaustion………..Leslie was literally down for three days……….she said, “Mom, I feel like I have the worst case of the flu…….ever!  Combine it with some kind of horrible horrible hangover………

As a mother, it was so hard to watch my daughter and feel so helpless to do anything…… Fortunately, I was able to be there for Avery and Riley and care for them, play with them and love them.  They are such sweet little girls.  Avery now has two little teeth and Riley lost another one!  Jim and the girls suited up for their first dip in the pool for the summer.  We insisted Les come out and sit for a while and although she was struggling just to sit up……she did her best.  I’m in awe of her determination and how she is fighting to get through this nightmare and get back to her wonderful life!  She has mentioned on numerous occasions how this cancer has taken so much away from her and how it is cheating her little girls out of the healthy, attentive mother they deserve………….not long after that comment, little Riley noticed two band-aids on her mother and asked, “Mama, why do you have that?”  Leslie explained the injections as part of the treatment.  Riley responded by giving her Mother a hug and saying, “Oh Mama, I’m so sorry you have to go through this.”  Little Riley doesn’t for one minute feel like her mother is letting her down or neglecting her……….her concern is only for what her mother is enduring.  What a special little sweetheart.

So, as I type this blog and recall the first week of FEC, with tears once again streaming down my cheeks, I’m reminded of all the ways that God has used this cancer for the good.  I think of all the wonderful people who are praying for our family………I think of Stacy Herlocker Morgan and her selfless contributions to “whatever is needed”………..Stacy never complains……..she is always available for “whatever is needed”……….I sat on the front porch swing late one night last week……it was one of those scary nights after some difficult days of feeling so helpless……after a couple of days watching my daughter suffer.  Stacy shared with me over the phone and we cried……..together.  Although we could not solve anything, I was so comforted just by sharing with Stacy and by the reminder that we are not alone……..Leslie is not alone……….we are a family and we are a strong family…….yes, God has and is using this bad for the good and we are getting stronger and stronger every single day!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

One day at a time..............Week 12

Nine years ago, my dear friend Barnie Trussell...........gave me a copy of Christie Lane's song...."One Day at a Time"............Barnie, that song is still appropriate today.  What was great advice back then, still holds true today.

Last Monday marked the completion of week #12 of Leslie's weekly chemo treatments.  She also met with Dr. Lee for exam and update.................good news and not so good news.  The good news.....while Dr. Lee was examining Les' breasts she asked, "It was the left breast, wasn't it?"  I'd say if Dr. Lee wasn't sure which breast has the "issue"............very good news!!!  Plus, at this point in treatment, many patients require a blood transfusion.............not needed!  Thank you Lord!!

The not so good news...........Les thought she'd now be having treatments every three weeks, only to find out she still has to go several times......the every three weeks was not happening...........but, hey....as we begin the second half of the chemo........what the nurses call the "nasty chemo".....Leslie is a bit scared, nervous and apprehensive............fear of the unknown.  But, with God's hand on her shoulder, Leslie will move forward with the treatment........

I'll be with Leslie Tuesday for the beginning of the second half.  Please keep her in your prayers for healing......that her body will accept the new process in a very positive way on her way to remission.  Tuesday begins what seems to be part two......as we continue this one-day-at-a-time journey.............do your know the song?

"One day at a time, Sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
..........Lord help me today, show me the way....
One day at a time."


Lord, please send my sweet Leslie the strength and courage she needs.....

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Week 11......No Sugar Coating...........

My friend, Polly, used to always say, "Sometimes you just can't sugar coat it."  What a true statement!

This past Monday, Leslie completed Week #11 of the first twelve weeks of the first round of chemo.  It was a hard day for her and as Polly would say......you just can't sugar coat it. 

These past weeks I've tried to share the good times and illustrate for you the bond of family and friends.......how all these wonderful people have jumped in to help Leslie and Jim as they move through these treatments that are now woven into the threads of their everyday lives..........EVERYDAY LIVES.....not just an occasional visit to the doctor's office for a shot or an x-ray......weekly (sometimes twice a in one week) trips to Tyler to the ETMC Cancer Center where Leslie spends about 4 hours receiving several IV bags of chemo, anti-nausea meds, benedryl and whatever else has been prescribed as part of her treatment. 

I was only at the Cancer Center for a short while, but I must say the employees and patients are very special.  Bob & Nancy Swain were there for Bob's final treatment and he was all smiles to be in remission.  He laughed and told Leslie, "I may just come back up here in three weeks just for the fun of it."  He was teasing, of course, but great to see his smile.  Such a good man.

Leslie started the day not feeling well and as the treatment progressed, she felt even worse.  She curled up on a little sofa with her blanket and tried to rest throughout the long process, but it just wasn't possible that day.  As her mother, it breaks my heart to watch my daughter dealing with this horrible disease.  With each week, we watch her move through the process.....staying focused on her goal to be cancer-free and get back to some kind of normal life.  We know she'll get there, but as we all also know, once cancer shows up we develop such a conscious awareness that invades our lives and never really goes away. ......that same awareness changes us forever and although she will beat the cancer, we'll all be keenly aware of how our lives have changed and how we all now want to join in to help make a dfference for others.  How many times have we heard the commercials for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure?  ........"So no mother, no sister, no daughter......ever has to go through this."  What a statement!  Sure rings true now for our family!  And folks, let me tell you....whatever you think you know about cancer and the treatment.....it is so much worse than you can even imagine.......

As my emotions continually run the gamut, I know my feelings of helplessness can't compare to what Les & Jim must feel.  I'm in awe of their spirits, their love and their devotion to each other and their girls.  I am frustrated that I can't be there for them every single day, but as I'm blogged before, so many wonderful people have stepped up to the plate and offered their assistance.  In fact, this past week, my sweet sister, Debra, dropped by with food on Tuesday evening after she had worked all day and then drove from Tyler to Mineola.........she provided supper (or do we call it dinner in East Texas?), stayed to feel little Avery, bathed Avery.......then announced to Les & Jim....."Put me down for Tuesday and Wednesday evening.  I'll be here to cook, feed, bathe....whatever is needed."  What a generous gift.......Debra, you are so loved and appreciated!

Sooooooo, since this is Wednesday, Debra is enjoying bathtime laughter at the Herlocker Household.......Avery can still fit in the kitchen sink and she loves splashing the water.........Note the single tooth shining..........



Such a sweet little girl........now, there's some serious sugar coating!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mothers Day; Special Day.......then on to Week #10

I remember as a little girl growing up in a Pentacostal church, I loved the Southern Tradition of the Mothers Day Corsage.

The tradition went like this..........a red flower honored your mother if she was still living and a white flower honored the memory of her if she had passed on.  All the church ladies came decked out in their prettiest outfits on Mothers Day Sunday....complete with a red or white corsage.  Although corsages are now thought of as old-fashioned, I think it is still a sweet and lovely tradition.

This past Mothers Day Sunday afternoon, Leslie's kitchen in Mineola was buzzing with wonderful mothers.......my mother, my sister and my daughter.  We all gathered in the kitchen to put together a hodge podge of food, share conversation, laugh and just enjoy the afternoon.  Later we relaxed on the back porch and enjoyed the absolutely perfect weather.  As my Riley would smile and say...."Livin' the life, Baby."

For entertainment, we can always count on Riley.  That little 7-year-old has a fabulous imagination and such an extensive vocabulary.  I've managed to document some of what LeBeau refers to as "Riley-isms"....but not nearly enough.  I could probably write a whole book if I really put my mind to it. 

This past weekend Riley sat with me on the porch swing for a while.  We were quickly joined by "Whiskers".....Riley's yellow and white cat.  Riley commenced telling me that Whiskers has turned out to be a really good cat.  In fact, Whiskers had actually caught three mice AND one bird.  Riley also shared that she and her Mom have been plagued with barn swallows who keep trying to build nests under their porches.  These are such nuisance birds as they make a mess and they seem be dive bombing at your head!  Riley then explained that the one bird Whiskers killed was actually a red bird.......BUT she thinks Whiskers accidentally killed the red bird while trying to get a barn swallow.  She is absolutely sure it wasn't on purpose......red birds are just too pretty!!

True to form, Riley then shared another story that had never even crossed my mind!  She said, "You know, Whiskers has turned out to be a much better cat than Tom."   I asked, "Tom?  Is Tom one of MiMi's cats?"  She replied with such seriousness...."No.  MiMi doesn't have any cats now.  You know Tom from "Tom & Jerry".  Whiskers has caught three mice already and Tom can't even catch one little mouse.....and he has been trying for years!!"  Humm......she certainly had a point there.

Today Les & Jim made their usual Monday trip to ETMC Cancer Center and marked off Week #10 of the first 12 weeks of chemo.  Leslie sent me a text message at 12:49 p.m........"10 down!!!! 6 more to go!  Hope u guys are having a great day!"  Yes, 2 more weekly treatments, then 4 of what the nurses call the nasty chemo.......

Tomorrow and Wednesday, Les will have to rest and try to build her strength back up......she is doing great even though each week it gets harder for her to bounce back.  I can only imagine what the last 4 rounds will be like for my sweet daughter........but I'm thankful for all the love, the support and the prayers........circulating daily......hourly......by so many.

In spite of everything, Les has a special way of making us smile.  A few weeks ago as she weighed in before her treatment, the nurse said, "Well, you lost 2 pounds since last week."  Les smiled and said, "Well, yes......I cut off all my hair!"  Hummmm......and we wonder where Riley gets it.....?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Easter at the Lake! Family fun before Week 8!

Monday, April 25th marked week #8 of Leslie's first 12 weeks of chemo.  A visit to the oncologist today confirmed definite progress.  Four more weeks of this weekly chemo, then we'll begin what the nurse referred to as "the nasty stuff."  Our Leslie knows the harder treatments are just around the corner, but she says "bring it on and let's get this finished, get on with the surgey and get back to our normal lives!" 

Prior to the week #8 treatment, we all gathered at what Riley calls "The Far Away House".....a semi-secluded, quiet, nature-filled getaway lake house........one of Leslie's most favorite places!  She was so excited to have all her "peeps" coming for Easter. 

Family and friends began gathering on Friday, bringing food, laughter, smiles AND Easter eggs to The Far Away House in Swannerland! 



Part of the festivities included planting a beautiful red oak tree. 
We insisted on a pose for a 2011 photo to mark the planting on
Easter Sunday.....fairly close to Earth Day.

Avery had her own special jar of organic sweet potatoes with turkey.

Avery loves her big sister, Stacey

Jim insisted the little people pose on the stairs for a picture before hunting eggs. 
Riley made it clear that somebody had to take Avery before Jim said "go"!!!

And rightfully so.....the big people also had to pose prior to the adult egg hunt. 
Hey, prize eggs included $10, $5 and golden dollar coins!  What a fabulous Easter Bunny!!

Later, a quilt was spread on the grass for Avery and "Buddy" to enjoy. 
Avery didn't crawl too far from her Mama.........she loves her Mama!

After all the festivities........back home in Mineola, Sassy Miss Riley Girl helped
Jim plant beautiful pink petunias in pretty pots while
Mom, MoMo and Avery lounged on the patio. 
What a wonderful end to a perfect weekend!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Week #7 -- One day at a time.....

Mark a big X on Monday, April 18th...........one more treatment behind us! 

After a weekend of sunshine and golf, Les & Jim traveled back to Tyler for treatment #7.  I visited with Leslie on Sunday and it was obvious by the sparkle in her eyes that she thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. Actually, this was Leslie's first "real" time out in public since this journey began and her first time to wear a scarf with her golf cap.

As with most chemo treatments, Les' hair slowly began to come out.  One morning she decided to take control of the situation and NOT let the cancer slowly take her hair from her little by little.........she texted Spencer and me a picture of her new "do" after she took that control.... as Leslie said, "I GI Jane-d" it!  What a powerful and positive thing to do!  She took control of the situation instead of letting the cancer take it little by little.  What an amazing young lady!

So, as you can now understand, it was a BIG weekend for our girl to be out at the Mineola Country Club, playing golf without her pony tail.  AND....from what I hear, she played a mean game of golf!!

In fact, she was so focused on golf and fun that she didn't bring me even one picture......

Way to go, Leslie Girl!

I must also add that Kristen Herlocker (Jim's daughter #2) was here on Monday to spend time with Miss Avery while Jim & Leslie were in Tyler for treatment.  Kristen was later joined by Stacy (Jim's daughter #1) and they took Avery to lunch at Kitchen's.......shopped at Wal-Mart and Beall's.........and had a blast double-teaming Miss Avery and playing dress up!  They later visited the folks at Mineola Community Bank and returned home with more of Aime & Robin's good cookin'.......yum!  You ladies are the best!

Leslie, we are so proud of you and admire your strength and courage.  Thank you for being so patient with us as we hover around, sometimes so helpless to know what to do. 

Day by day.........week by week...........we're finished with week #7 and this Thursday we celebrate Leslie's 33rd birthday!  See you Sunday at the Far Away House for a big Easter celebration too!......Surely we can get some pictures then.............

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Week 6 - Halfway through the Big 12! (Sports fans will 'get' this)

We're excited to say Leslie just completed Week #6 of the first 12 weeks of chemo!  As Spencer would say, "Halleluuusha!"


Leslie is hangin' in there, taking it day-by-day.....and anxiously looking forward!


Treatments are still every Monday morning.  The nurses have been giving her Benedryl to prevent any kind of allergic reaction.........which makes her drowsy and enables her to doze through much of the hour and a half process.  In fact, most of the afternoon she has to let her body rest.  Tuesdays and Wednesdays are getting tougher.  With each week, it gets a little more difficult to bounce back.  We are so fortunate to have Liz and Sue on hand to provide such caring assistance to Les and her precious family on those two days.  Sweet Liz sent me a FaceBook message of reassurance and she added, "I've been lookin' after Jim and his family for a while now.  Leslie is strong and she will beat this!"  She is an absolute doll!!

By Thursday of each week, Leslie is on the up-swing......Friday is better.....and by the weekend she is pretty close to being her ole self.  Saturdays are good, Sundays are good.........only to start the process all over again on Monday........but always with her positive attitude!  So proud of her!


As Leslie moves forward in her treatments, Riley's first grade year is winding down.  the month of May will include a dance recital and an awards ceremony.  I'm sure she will receive several academic awards........that girl has such an extensive vocabulary and as my Mother says, "She has a bushel of sense!"


A couple of weekends ago when Riley was here in Dallas for a visit, we were driving to Spencer's house and she was reading street signs.  When we turned on Cesar Chavez she said, "Oh!  I know about Cesar Chavez."  I was intrigued and asked her to tell me about him.  She said, "Weeeellll, he wanted to help all the workers in the field and he had everybody stop buying grapes until the workers got what they needed.  Then, everybody started buying grapes again." 


That girl can sure make me smile!  As we discussed Cesar Chavez in amazing detail, I was once again profoundly proud of this little person.  Of course, later I had to google Cesar Chavez for myself........only to learn that he was an activist in California who worked for better conditions for the workers picking grapes in the fields.  He organized a Latino civil rights group and then traveled throughout the state making speeches in support of workers' rights.  He later led a strike of California grape pickers...........just like Riley said.

Pictures..........I have no pictures to share this week.  However, next Saturday is the "Three Bucks and a Doe" golf tournament.  The 'sure to be favorite' team consists of Leslie Herlocker, Jim Herlocker, David Carroll (Leslie's Dad) and Brent Cain......hence, the doe and the three bucks.  Clever!

Leslie promised she would get some golfing pictures for me.......afterall, we did set this up as a golf-themed blog.........we need golf pics!

Once again...........thanks for all the love, support, food and prayers!

~Penny~